Ok.. So, I spent my afternoon talking to some friends.. I have decided that it is time that I make a step towards my own happiness, and not care what people think. It's only a step, and I still have to talk to some family and people from outside of the cosplay/anime/gaming community, but I'm starting here. First, I will be changing my Cosplay/Pen name. I made this one in a rush when I needed it, and found myself in a position where I felt I wouldn't be able to change it. However, I spent a few years being pretty inactive due to getting life together, and I find, I need to do it now. This name ties me to a part of me that actually throws me into depression, and I need to fix that. That brings me to something more important..
At the moment, I still identify as Genderfluid. Idk if that will ever change. But I do know that the only times I am female are when I am around people that expect it. When it is a social norm and expectation, I guess. And it tends to cause me depression. I feel more comfortable with my male self, and so, I have spent my day talking to some friends and asking them to start calling me by my male name, Miles. I adapted this name for my male self YEARS ago, but never expected people to go back and forth or anything. Now, it is the name I chose to go by. I'm not going to freak out when referred to as a female or by my female name right now.. But, I do ask for my fiends to TRY. I am trying to get through a difficult time and the support that has been offered already had brought me tears of joy. I've never felt so happy in my own skin as I did today when friends started to do this.
I'm not sure what I will stick with for my cosplay/pen name. I know I'll probably use Tails because it just goes with Miles so well, and I love Tails. I am still working on part two of that.
Thanks in advance for any and all support. heart emoticon